We've heard that the MADtv Korean soap opera parodies are even funnier in Korean, because the subtitles don't match and Bobby Lee's Korean is terrible. Here's our attempt to translate some of the extra humor.
Translations by Hanjin Kim, Sam Kim, and Julie Hong
Transcribed by Ada Tseng
(Frequently, what's heard in the Korean dialogue is different from what is conveyed in the English subtitles. In those cases, we've translated the original Korean dialogue and included it in italics underneath the English subtitled text.)
EPISODE TWO
Dr.: Huh?
Bartender: Why are you crying?
Dr.: Why? Why?
For the love of the woman who I presumed was dead but seems alive, and who I am now looking to find.
My heart hurts.
Bartender: Huh?
Dr.: I can remember what happened, thusly...
[weeps]
[flashbacks]
Bartender: For that kind of love pain, you are needing a cocktail concoction. Waitress!
Why don't you have a drink? Waiter!
Long Bong: Huh?
Dr.: Long Bong! You have not deaded!
Long Bong, You are still alive!
[hug]
Long Bong! I was thinking you were dead! What are you telling me is the explanation?
Long Bong! Why? Why?
LB: Death was coming over me like a warm blanket that was comforting me and inviting me into a sound slumber to which I was ready to succumb. Just as I was stepping into the light of the next spiritual plane, I heard the sweet sound of a lovely bird as it chirped to me. The bird told me that there was a magnificent force that could save me from death, a human being, and that human being was a man, and that man was you, Dr. Poon Ji-Sum. Yes, it is you that I love, so with all my strength I broke free from the shackles of death, wandered through the forest of uncertainty, until something called me to this cocktail bar, where I was lucky enough to find employment, as my nurse credentials had expired. Here, before my weary eyes, and much to my delight, I see the visage of you, my sweet, in all your glory. I think perhaps you were the bird that chirped to me, for you seem to have the same eyes, although your mouth is slightly different.
Love.
Dr.: Well that explains it.
Ahhh!
[President enters]
President: Now explain something to me!
Not only am I the president, but look at me. I am a beautiful man.
The president is back. Aren't I beautiful?
My features, they are near perfection.
My hair is so beautiful.
My hair is like spun ebony silk.
I washed my hair today.
Every muscle on my sinewy body appears to have been carved by a loving God who loves only me.
Why does this place look like a Chinese restaurant? The black mung bean noodles must be good. Is it good?
And yet you choose to give your love to a man who closely resembles a rotted peach....
Are you still wearing a wig?
...when the choice should be so obvious!
You small piece of booger, is your stomach full of silk worms?
Long: I cannot decide for whom my love is greater for now!
I really don't know who to go to!
President: So we are to letting the better man win!
Let's see how good are you?
[slap]
Back away, security guards!
Guard: That guy.
President: I know, go away.
[big slap, Dr. crashes into table]
Dr.: YEEEEEEE!!
Long: Why you do that you bad man!
[Mother enters]
Mother: Stop!
Stop the violence! Immediately!
Long and Dr.: [simultaneously] MOTHER!
Huh? Huh?
Caption: See you on the morrow, when together we will be to finding more what happens.
Onward...to episode three!
Back to APA's interview with Bobby Lee