We've heard that the MADtv Korean soap opera parodies are even funnier in Korean, because the subtitles don't match and Bobby Lee's Korean is terrible. Here's our attempt to translate some of the extra humor.
Translations by Hanjin Kim, Sam Kim, and Julie Hong
Transcribed by Ada Tseng
(Frequently, what's heard in the Korean dialogue is different from what is conveyed in the English subtitles. In those cases, we've translated the original Korean dialogue and included it in italics underneath the English subtitled text.)
EPISODE ONE
Dr. Poon Ji-Sum: Happy Campfire Day to all, for which I am grateful to celebrate today.
Small Campfire Day. Small
Long Bong: Good Day to you Dr. Poon Ji-Sum. And Happy Campfire Day to you, also.
Dr.: Hello, Ms. Long Bong. And thank you for staying healthy all this time.
Right now, I can't speak Korean.
Long: I need to tell you something now, which is a confession.
Dr.: What do you wish to confess now?
Right now, I am way too full
Long: That I love you.
Dr.: I am also sharing that emotion, too.
I apologize.
[shared look and kiss]
Long: [cough]
Dr.: Huh?
[Long Bong falls and dies]
[Cut to Dr. Poon Ji-sum at grave, and flashbacks]
Dr.: Huh?
President Gin Kew Yun Chun Yew Nee: Bow before your President.
Dr.: Apologies, President Gin Kew Yun Chun Yew Nee.
President: What are you doing at the gravesite of my lover?
Dr.: Huh?
President: Before she died of her fainting spells,
Before my lover died
she professed her great love to me, and yet, at the same time I only felt that she was distant in her emotions,
she told me that she loved me,
Her eyes would drift away from mine. Her voice would sound as if she were talking to someone else.
But strangely, I didn't believe her.
And a chill seemed to come off her soul, like a vapor of loneliness, freezing us both. She was like a mysterious planet that one cannot ever reach or even look at through the largest telescope man could ever build.
[Unable to translate]
She was a boat floating so far over the horizon that she looked like a speck, a piece of dust on the end of the finest pinpoint.
Hey, did you buy a hooker yet?
A rare bird unlike anything anyone has ever seen, yet so shy and reserved that even the caretaker who loves her can't get a moment of attention or warmth or even hear faint trill of thankfulness...
...only the blank stare of a feathered mystery. Everything I ever tried to do for her was lost in the dry, parched wind of her distance, my gestures bouncing off her steel heart.
Strangely, I thought.
And I tried and tried and failed every time. I could sadly surmise that she was not alogether happy with me and finding great joy in the arms of another.
I really liked that girl. You look very similar to that girl
I meditated and remained silent, and lifted weights and jogged, and entered the olympics, first in the decathlon... then dog sledding.. And then couples ice dancing.. And finally settled on water polo.
Never mind all that
But nothing brought me clarity. Until one day it happened. Eating a pomegranate, I rememberd the clues. And I figured out this one thing. During loud Campfire Day celebrations, I have determined...
[Unable to translate]
That my rival is..
My lover died because of
... YOU!
[arm wrestle]
Both: Huh? Huh? Huh?
Caption: The finish until we visit again tomorrow and you can enjoy what happens in the next.
Onward... to episode two!
Back to APA's interview with Bobby Lee