By Kanara Ty
The Excalibur story gets an unnecessary and uncalled for dose of dullness -- with the usual ogling at exotic Asian beauties.
Over the years, there have been many works produced to discuss the origin of Excalibur, King Arthur's famed sword, but none have tied the legend of the sword all the way back to the time of Julius Caesar, until The Last Legion. Originally a novel written by Italian author Valerio Massimo Manfredi in 2002, The Last Legion was recently released as a major motion picture featuring British actors Colin Firth and Ben Kingsley, as well as the undeniably gorgeous Aishwayra Rai.
What a bad, bad idea.
The Last Legion begins with the crowning of Romulus Augustus Caesar (portrayed by Love Actually's Thomas Sangster), son to the previous Roman Emperor, Orestes. Only a day had gone by after the ceremony and poor 12 year-old Augustus not only lost his parents in battle, but was kidnapped as well. Is there much meaning left as an Emperor when you're overthrown just right after your inauguration? Now that Rome had been sacked by Odoacer and his army, Aurelius (Firth) and his men (including a very well-endowed Rai as the warrior Miya and Kingsley as the spiritual Shaman Ambrosinus) embark on a journey to search for the kidnapped young Emperor. Later on, after the retrieval of the young boy (as well as the legendary Excalibur), the journey turns into another search for the ninth legion, Britannia, the only remaining supporter to Caesar, so young Augustus can rebuild his kingdom. With this fact in mind, the film's purpose now is to prove that it only takes a few good men (and a beautiful exotic woman) to triumph over evil.
With a somewhat promising storyline and a high-profile cast, it was hard to believe that The Last Legion could fail on so many levels. However, the film ends up having a script with dialogue that brings no life to the story. Most of the time, I found myself nearly giving up on trying to focus on the film because it seemed like the movie was going on longer than it should have been. It was utterly painful to have to hear the young Romulus Augustus mutter "Mother, am I not the most powerful man in the world?" in such a disinterested, monotone voice. The story lacks a bit of a climax, as no excitement builds up towards the end of the film. It was more of a relief that the film finally ended.
One of the biggest scenes I was more looking forward to was how director Doug Lefler would execute the fall of Rome. Having worked on mythical television shows such as Hercules and Xena, it seemed that he would do a better-than-average job producing such a scene. Covering the fall of the Roman Empire in a feature film deserves well executed scenes of swordfights, plenty of bloodshed, a heart-racing soundtrack, and of course, memorable dialogue that's along the lines of "Madness? This is SPARTA!" Instead, we're treated to very uninspiring scenes of swords clanking and characters that add no excitement and seem to be just taking up space to fill the time.
The film featured some prolific actors, but even the most charming of the bunch could not have saved this film from crumbling like the Roman Empire. Aurelius, the war-leader hired to protect young Romulus Augustus is taken on by Mr. Darcy himself, Colin Firth. First of all, who's the genius who told Colin Firth he would make a marvelous action star? Audiences are used to Firth playing dramatic or romantic leads; placing him in the role of Commander Aurelius is quite the disastrous choice. I cringed at seeing the Dashing Mr. Darcy swing a sword back and forth, side to side, with utmost awkwardness. He is as unconvincing as the film's other star, Aishwayra Rai. In one particular scene, Rai's role as a Byzantine warrior (trained in India!) only had her repeating the same, boring sword tricks for a good two minutes for the reason that she is eye candy not just for the fans, but for her fellow warriors, as you can see the drool dripping from their mouths. For an Academy Award winner like Ben Kingsley to even take a role in this film is embarrassing. Even though Kingsley sufficiently played the part, he could not offer more to the role than the script allowed. It's disappointing to see brilliant actors waste their time in roles that suffer due to a poor script.
Perhaps one of the larger issues in the film is the trend of Asian actresses taking unnecessary roles in Hollywood films. For a woman who processes so much talent, why degrade herself to such a script? Take for example, Bride and Prejudice, Rai's first foreign film: why was she even in a film like that? Hollywood capitalizes on the success of these talented actresses from overseas to appeal to the wagging tongues of the American audience here. I don't know how many people I can count that refuse to watch subtitled films featuring Rai (or other Asian actresses in far superior roles than that of their Hollywood counterpart), but would watch them in a Hollywood flick because they spoke "English." Does an actress from overseas become more attractive if they utter (poorly written) words in English? Hollywood is also just capitalizing on her exoticness and introducing audiences to more of her sexuality, rather than her skills as an actress, as you can see from her films in India. It is degrading to actresses like Rai to place them in roles that have no depth in their character and act as just eye candy for the everyday American viewer. In any case, I hope her venture overseas in the future will continue to rise and not downgrade her status.
Was this film even necessary to release in theatres? This film should have gone straight to DVD, but even then it worth is questionable, even as a "guilty pleasure." Rather, Colin Firth or Aishwayra Rai fans should definitely skip watching this film and forget the fact that they ever starred in such a film.
Published: Friday, August 24, 2007
